Birfurcation or can you have your Barbie, 50 Shades and Feminism too?

Bifurcation means the splitting of a main body into two parts. Think of it as a fork. Like a fork in the road. Not like the fork that my youngest never eats with.

I'm just going to come out and admit it. I have tickets to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie tonight. I have read the books, even reread them. I'll continue; I love Barbies and I have some "designer" ones in my house. 

Those of you who know me would probably be comfortable calling me a feminist and I am completely comfortable with being called that. But I am also a realistic feminist and a realistic person and therefore, I bifurcate. I am two people at the same time. I am sometimes more one and more the other. When I am both or only one, I make my own choices.

On Facebook this week and on Twitter, where I follow feminist leaning pages and people and magazines, there is a bit of a trend in using 50 Shades as a sound off for violence against women and even $50 for 50 Shades, meaning don't see the movie, give $50 bucks to some worthy charity instead. 

You see, this bothers my bifurcated self. What is wrong with a book that allows women, and lots of them apparently, to fantasize about sex and to get aroused? Does it really matter if it's well written? Have you ever watched a porn movie (geared towards men of course because they all are) for the plot? Or read Playboy for the articles. Be honest.

Ah, but that is the guys, this is women. Women should repress their sexuality or at least not bring up in public what turns them on. C'mon, how disingenuous can society be? Every movie in Hollywood made by a man objectifies women. All the Meghan Trainors and Melissa McCarthys and Plus Size models in SI aren't going to change that. (just as an aside, plus size bikini models are not progress, progress is the cancelling of the SI swimsuit issue, period.) Have you seen Game of Thrones? 

Let's talk about violence though. Is Christian Grey a stalker? Is he a control freak? Yes, he sort of is, but give us women some credit that we can tell fiction from reality. 

At the Thanksgiving table this year, there was alot of talk about the NFL and domestic violence. What should they do about it? I pissed my dad off by saying if they really wanted to do something about it then anyone charged or investigated for domestic violence charges should be banned from playing in the NFL. It's not that simple, Hillary, they said. Oh, yes, it is. 

And did you notice that during the Super Bowl, with that great pizza commercial everyone loved, there were no pictures of women who suffered from domestic violence. Put their beaten to a pulp faces on the screen, put their orphaned children, put their homeless families. I mean you can scare people about accidents in the home with a dead kid but not about this? Did they even post a hotline # for help if you need it? Nope, just a website to take a pledge, how white of them.

Do I even need to mention the amount of violence against women in video games? This is what impresses men of our generation. These aren't guys that are cracking open 50 Shades of Grey. 

What goes on between two consenting adults is their business. Whether they tie each other up, enjoy anal sex, are the same sex or whether there are more than two in the room. or even if, God forbid, the just really like the missionary position. I've read some stuff on the internet that is not fiction that I can honestly say these people are fucked up. I mean bizarro, really waaaaay out of the box.  

There are so many real problems in the world that need real attention and real solutions, not the least of is the real state of women in so many places. Speak out on Facebook and Twitter about that. Genital mutilation, child brides, rape, no voting rights, domestic violence, hell even the lack of a female viagra, pay equality. What is $50? Did you know in the USA, women have to work 14 months to make the same amount as men in 12 months? 

I am woman, hear me roar. Or hear me moan. Or come see my Barbies. Or see me in my egalitarian synagogue. Or see me read 50 Shades. Or see me read the Goldfinch (I'm also a very deep thinker..)

Don't be slut shamed because 50 Shades may turn you on. Embrace your inner goddess.